Decisions, Decisions

So we met with the oncologist yesterday. We had a full entourage that went in with Layne. There were 5 grown adults. All of us were very concerned and had lots of questions. Thankfully they were all very professional and answered all of our questions. We were impressed with how the oncologist handled things and explained things. We all came out feeling a lot better and were all on the same page. He, like the surgeon is kind of mystified as to why Layne had a small bowel obstruction. He had a few small adhesions but based on his symptoms they expected the block to be a lot worse. So they are hoping this is a one time thing and think that it was probably a mixture of the dexamethasone (steroid), Iron pills and chemo he was taking along with the adhesions, exacerbated what was happening. He went over all our options. 1) We could stop chemotherapy all together. There is a 50% chance that the surgery got all of the cancer and along with the 3 rounds of chemo he received, that would have helped. 2) We can switch to taking oral chemotherapy drugs, that are not as effective as IV chemo but if problems arise we can stop treatment. If you are on IV chemo you can't stop the treatment, you have to finish out the cycle because it's already in your system. 3) Continue with IV chemo but make some alterations. He would no longer take the steroid for his anti nausea meds (as this is the most likely cause of the inflammation in his bowel) he would most likely take Maxeran now. He is no longer taking iron pills and he starts IV iron next week to avoid any irritation of his GI tract. Lastly, there is a little 15 minute bolus of a certain drug they give him right before he gets sent home for the two days with his chemo bottle. They are not going to give that to him anymore as studies haven't shown it to be that effective and that bolus can cause a lot of his diarrhea problems.

Layne just spoke to the pharmacist at the cancer centre to get a few more questions answered. I guess all the pharmacists on staff are going to meet together and discuss all these drugs and others and figure out what the best plan would be for Layne. It's nice that they are taking this so serious. At this time Layne still hasn't made a set in stone decision but we are thinking we are going to continuing doing IV chemo with the alterations that they will make. We still have the option to switch to the oral chemo at any time if things seem to be going down the same road. Layne wants his best chance to live as long as he can. Doing this, there will be no regrets, we will never question that we didn't do all we could. It looks like he will be starting chemo 2 weeks from now if all goes well.

Layne has had a good week. It was nice to get him home. The boys were so excited to see him when we got home from Edmonton. They have enjoyed playing lego with him and watching movies. It's nice to get back into a routine, not feel like you have to be two places at once. His incision is healing nicely. It is still pretty tender but he is doing well. He plans on coming out trick-or-treating with us tonight for a bit and was able to go to the halloween parade at the school.

Thank you again for everyone who has dropped off meals or treats or flowers, sent cards or watched the boys. We are blessed to have all this support! We are very grateful for Rusty and Jackie opening up their house to us. There is no way we could have done this without all of your help. Have a Happy Halloween... I know we will!

Carving a pumpkin for the halloween parade

Making worms and dirt at Aunt Ciana's

Heading out to the halloween parade

Walking at the halloween parade. Blake was so proud to show off his batman costume. Ty wouldn't let me put him down. He was too scared of everyone else haha

Halloween Dinner. We got to drink orange pop and orange crusted pizza! We had a special guest with us at the table called Mr. Bones!

Coming Home

Well the last few days have been a few days of relief. Things seem to be going in our favour. He has been able to increase his diet to the point where he can eat cream of wheat, ice-cream, toast and broth. Pain is very mild but only where the incision is. This morning the surgeon came in and put in the order to get his staples and IV taken out. He also gave the go ahead that he could go home. It will be nice to have him home. I will be able to help him in the night, he still sometimes has a hard time making it to the bathroom in time. Last night was his first night alone and he was too nervous to ask his nurse for help because he hadn't been too kind to him earlier on in the night. I am again so thankful for Layne's parents and making sure he always had someone there for him. I truly believe that has helped him significantly this time around. We are experts now but lets hope we never have to do this again!

A few days ago the surgeon showed Layne the x-rays before and after surgery. You could see a huge difference and it showed us the surgery needed to be done. It made us feel better about our decision to do the surgery and showed us the pain he was experiencing then was not the same pain he was experiencing before the surgery, even though it looked like it felt the same. Poor guy!

So once he said we could go home, Layne had a nap, he ate lunch and had a shower and we were on our way. Even though this time around feels like its been 100 times worse then last time, I still think he is leaps and bounds ahead mobility wise from the last surgery. He had been very sick for a long time before the last surgery and when he went home he could still hardly walk. This time we walked to our car together. I tried to have him wait at the entrance while I pulled our van up but he insisted on walking. Thankfully it wasn't too far!

The drive home wore him out. He is now sleeping in his own bed and he says it feels great! The boys did go up to Edmonton this week and I will head up there on Thursday to spend a few days with my family. It is quite peaceful sitting here typing this up - Thanks Mom and Dad! I am glad he has a few days to recuperate without the boys here. We miss them dearly though!

We meet with the oncologist next Thursday to review everything and discuss our future options. Layne is very nervous to even consider doing chemotherapy at this point. I don't blame him. Hopefully his mind can be at ease after our appointment next week and we can feel good about our options for the future. We will have lots of questions and hope all of our concerns can be addressed. I am off to make beds and give the bathroom a good clean while Layne rests. Here's to no more eventful days and no blog posts in the near future! Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers!

Ready to go home. You don't realize how much weight he lost until he put's his own clothes back on. Let the fattening up begin! We will have to weigh him once he wakes up.

A Turning Point

I think today might be the turning around day. It might be too soon to say but I am going to make it official. Layne has been through hell these past 10 days but he is on his way back.

Two days ago he had to have his NG tube put back in because he started throwing up again. They clamped to off again yesterday for 6 hours to see how he tolerated it again and when everything was okay they took it out again. He was told though if they had to put it back in that it would need to stay in for 2 days this next time. Layne didn't want that to happen... and he didn't let it happen. He has been feeling nauseous but not throwing up. I think at this point it is the fact that he is taking pain medication orally with out any food in his tummy. But it is manageable. He won't take the Tramacet shots they were giving him for pain anymore because he said they don't make him feel well. So now he is only taking Tylenol and it seems to manage his pain fine. It's nice not to see him so loopy on drugs.

Getting NG tube back in

After getting his NG tube back out. So happy!

He didn't have a very nice night again. He slept better but his nausea was bothering him. Thankfully around 10 am is seemed to go away on it's own. Since yesterday he has been exhausted so every few hours we have him walk and then he is sleeping in-between. Completely wiped. Which is good, because walking and sleeping are what is going to make him feel better. I got there this morning at 11ish just in time to hear Layne have his first fart! Yes I called it a fart. In Layne's family the "f" word is not allowed but thats what Layne called it when it happened much to his mother's dismay. He was then able to have an extremely large bowel movement. Let's just say there was lot's of cheering and crying in his room. It's kinda sad how we can get so excited about bowel movements but trust me you can. He has had several since than and has been able to pass gas freely. He has been able to walk a lot today. I think his goal was to get to 20 laps by the end of today and he was at 17 when I left at 7:30pm. His sister is now with him and I know she has been having him walk, so I am sure his goal is beat.

Our family was able to all come in for Sunday dinner to break our fast. It was nice. The weather has been beautiful so we ate outside at a picnic table. Layne because he has been doing well and drinking fluids was able to come out. They were able to disconnect his IV so he had nothing attached to him for a bit. The boys came up to the room to bring him down. He was on the toilet and Ty ran right up to him to give him a big kiss and then said "oh yucky poopy daddy". It made Layne laugh. It was good to see him laugh. Blake was able to push him downstairs in his wheelchair with only running into the wall a few times. Layne was able to eat his jello and sip on his gatorade while we ate dinner. He is really craving food which is a good sign. I felt bad for him. It was good to have the whole family come for dinner and have him watch our crazy full of energy boys run around outside. He didn't last long but he said he loved it. His white blood cell count is good now so they lifted his reverse isolation protocol but we are still asking for no visitors. We are just trying to be super careful and let him get the rest he needs, so he can get out of the hospital as soon as possible. Thank you again for all your fasting and prayers. I believe they have helped him turn around today!

Coming outside for some dinner as a family

All together again

Jackie was able to take the boys home and spend some much needed time with them tonight making halloween crafts. That gave my mom the opportunity to visit with Layne. My mom tomorrow  will be taking the boys back to Edmonton with her for the week. She has been a lifesaver! Once Layne is out of the hospital I will go up for a few days to spend time with them and not have to worry about anything else but them. That will give Layne a few days at home to get a routine before they get back. 

Don't Quit Before The Miracle

One of Layne's friends reminded us of this quote by Layne's hero, Thereon Fleury. He said, "Don't quit before the miracle". We definitely have needed to remind ourselves of that over the past day or so.

Things were looking up my last post. By yesterday morning Layne's epidural was no longer working but surprisingly he wasn't in a ton of pain. He didn't require to take any pain medication until 1 pm. That made me feel really excited about his progress. They took out the epidural while I was there, which means the catheter was able to come out and before I got there they clamped his NG tube to see how he tolerated it. He did fine so 6 hours later they took it out and was able to start a liquid diet. Layne said having his first sip of water was the best feeling in the world. I was able to get him all washed up and even shaved his face. He was looking quite handsome after all of that and I snapped a picture of no tubes before having to put his oxygen back on. They keep trying to take him off oxygen but his O2 sats drop too low when they do. This happened the same thing after last surgery, so I am not too worried.

Looking Good!

First sip of water

Things were just fine when I left last night. Unfortunately things went down hill in the night again. His pain got out of control. He is no longer able to pass gas or have bowel movements again. So the surgeon this morning said he would have to go back on the NG tube if he wasn't able to do those things in the next few hours. We had a different Dr come in a few hours later telling us he didn't want him having an NG tube and ordered abdominal x-rays to see if gas was building up again. (Which we already knew, because his tummy was distended again) I should have been smarter and asked more questions. It is quite frustrating at the lack of communication on their end and I should have called Layne's mom to double check what the surgeon said in the morning. Long story short we should have put it in. Around 4pm Layne started throwing up again after having a good afternoon. It got really bad after he got back from his x-rays the feeling of nausea was constant. Thankfully the surgeon left an order to put the NG tube in and we were able to get that right away. On a positive note, through all of this his pain has been managed. It's sad though how loopy the meds make him. He doesn't like them but right now we need to keep the pain away. When I left tonight he was finally settled. Pain was good, nausea was gone and he was sleeping. I hope we have an uneventful night but thankfully his parents will be taking shifts again throughout the night to keep an eye on him. The surgeon seems to think this pain and distention are coming from inflamed bowels due to chemo and we just need to wait it out. I am hoping this is the case and we aren't missing anything. If he isn't able to tolerate fluids in the next few days they will start him on TPN. I am not quite sure what it is but he will receive nutrients that way.

This morning when he was having the really bad pain, Layne called a few friends from Lethbridge who were able to come and give him another blessing. It's nice people will come at a drop of a hat to help. I wasn't there but Jackie was and she was telling me what was said in the blessing. It's amazing how in all the blessings he had, the same things are said. It's a good reminder that these blessings come from god that he is promised the same things. It's very comforting and a good reminder to have faith and believe in what is said. After that they were able to get the pain under control and Layne was really wanting the boys to come in. I brought them in at noon. We have been very strict about having no visitors we don't want Layne to pick up anything from anyone. But we decided it would be okay to break the rules and make his day. It was nice to have them there even though it was a short visit. They get too distracted too easily. But it is nice to see how concerned they are. He had a few waves of pain and Blake held his hand while he was having those. Both of them love their dad. They are always asking about him and praying for him. They make us so happy! After they left I washed Layne down again and wiped down his room just to be safe.

Blake helping Layne through a wave of pain. 

Layne was smart and took off his oxygen for when the boys got there. Ty would have been too nervous to go near him if he had it on. 

My handsome boys!

Thank you again to anyone who has sent texts/emails/cards, anyone who has dropped off treats or meals to our house and a big thank you for all your prayers. We truly are blessed by all the support we are receiving!

Believe In Good Things To Come

Well things seem a little more manageable today. Maybe it is because I was able to get 11 hours of sleep last night, but I think things are looking up. While I was sleeping Layne’s parents were able to take shifts over night to help. I am glad they did. We have found Layne does better and recovers better if someone is here with him at all times. We learned the hard way last time.

Yesterday morning when I got here they were able to get the pain under control. Before that though it was bad. He told me he wanted to die. He was able to rest for the afternoon while I was here with only a few twinges of pain. Just before 6 pm his pain started to change. It became more frequent and even though it was not near as bad I started to worry. I called the nurse in and we were able to get him an Ativan. It helps him relax a little bit when the pain comes. That seemed to make it a bit better and we also put a call into the anesthesiologist to have him reassessed. His mom came in and I left at around 7:30ish. His pain continued to get worse and Layne asked to go for a walk when his dad got here to help to try to get things moving, so the pain would go away. I think that in it’s self is a miracle. Layne didn’t walk after his last surgery until almost the end of day 2. He wasn’t even out from surgery for 24 hours before walking and walking with only 1 person this time. Last surgery he needed a lot of help for his first walk. After his walk his mom left and his dad stayed for the rest of the night. His pain continued to get worse and got to the point of screaming again and finally the anesthesiologist came in. They gave him a bolus for his epidural and increased the rate or it from 6ml/hr to 9 ml/hr. After that, that seemed to nip the pain in the butt and we haven’t really had any problems since.

First walk post surgery!

All the drugs make him nice and itchy. You can tell by the red around his eyes!

Shortly after getting his pain under control Layne pooped the bed (I got his permission to post that haha) He couldn’t get up quick enough to get to the toilet. Last surgery we were on day six post operation before he was able to have a bowel movement. This time again it was less than 24 hours. The surgery had worked because he is now having bowel movements where he hadn’t for 2 days before surgery. What a relief! His dad helped him to the toilet where he proceeded to pass out, thankfully his dad caught him and they just sat there and talked while the nurse took his vitals and Layne got to do some karaoke. I guess he started singing I’m A Dreamer by John Lennon at the top of his lungs. I wish I had been here to see it because let’s just say he is not the best singer! He was able to sleep the rest of night but had many hallucinations. He tells me he gets to go to his special place. Which consists of a gym that is white and there is AstroTurf. Everyone is a ball and he gets to be a red ball and all the balls make formations and when he went to bed he slept in an egg bed. He said he had the same dreams after the last surgery.

His mom came back this morning at 6:30. He says he just kind of in and out slept. When I got here at 1pm they were just getting him up to walk around again. He was able to walk to the end of the hall and back. We were able to have some good conversation this afternoon. He seems to be doing well, hardly any pain. He got up to go to the bathroom and I cornered him into the tub where I washed him down. I had to be careful not to get his back wet because of the epidural. He felt really good after getting cleaned up. He walked all the way around the unit and at a really good pace. He even walked from his bed to the bathroom without any help at all. Now I am sitting here watching him watch the baseball game and play on him phone.

Getting ready to go on a walk

Making our way back down the hall

Today is a good day. Layne seems to be doing really well. He is leaps and bounds ahead of where he was with the last surgery. They think they will take the NG tube out tomorrow morning and start him on a liquid diet. Thank you everyone for your fasting and prayers. They are working! We still have a long way to go but this is the first time I haven’t been feeling uneasy about everything that is going on. Jackie said the same thing. Tonight she told me she felt like a 100 lb weight has been lifted off her chest. Yesterday I was sitting in the hall having supper. I heard a family discussing how (it must have been their grandma) was opened up and she had a tumour in her colon but it had spread all along her colon and into all surrounding tissues and lymph nodes and because it was too embedded they had to close her back up. We truly are blessed that we are only dealing with this. Hopefully tonight things will go as well as today and we continue to move forward without any hiccups.

You know you feel better when...

Here's a picture of the boys on a walk with my mom. It was windy and my mom couldn't find a hat for Ty so she pulled out one of the props for her shows from her van for him to wear. So glad she is here to help watch and love them!

Here is a video my sister-in-law sent me. I have seen it before but it's always a good reminder that there are good things to come!

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2010-05-12-good-things-to-come?lang=eng

Here We Go Again

I am going to quickly post this before I head back into the hospital. A lot of people are wondering what happened... this is what I was writing last night thinking I might get a decent sleep.

Not much has changed in the last 24 hours. They had to continue giving him morphine throughout the night every 3 hours and he continued to vomit. Because they were planning on doing the sigmoidoscopy today he wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight. That slowed the throwing up down but not the pain. His tummy continued to get distended. We finally were able to see a real surgeon this afternoon since we were admitted to the hospital on Thursday night... don't get me started. We also discovered his oncologist has not been informed of what is going on and is not in coordination with any of the other doctors...don't get me started. So a call was put into him this morning and I guess he has 24 hours to come and see us. So far no visit. Anyways... the surgeon came in this afternoon right when Layne's pain got bad. It was a huge blessing. Usually he can go 3 hours without too much pain but this time around, it only lasted 1 hour 20 minutes and was unbearable. It was horrible to watch but at the same time I was so happy it was happening while he was there. He decided to cancel all further testing and decided Layne must have a partial block somewhere (as he has been having a hard time passing gas or having a bowel movement since saturday afternoon). He ordered abdominal x-rays right away and then had the nurses put an NG tube down his nose into his stomach. This is supposed to relieve all the bile and gas build up in his stomach and help relieve the pain and take away his stomach distention. He said most likely the partial block is from a twist in his bowel due to either inflammation from the chemo or scar tissue from the surgery site.

This will be a waiting game too. He said once we get all the gas and fluids that have been backing up out of him his bowels will have time to heal and the inflammation should reduce. That should allow the block to heal on it's own. If not we would have to do surgery and they don't want to do that especially because he had a surgery so recent and he is currently doing chemo. So far this has made the most sense to us so far and brought us the most comfort.

It seemed like the NG tube was doing it's job. His pain seemed to subside and he felt less nauseous. At this point Layne was so livid. I have never seen him so mad. I have actually never really seen him mad. He was mad because it took them 4 days, 2 of them him being in extreme pain to have the surgeon come in and tell him something completely different than what the other Dr's were saying. I'm sure it was a mixture of lack of sleep and drugs and pain but he has every right to be. He has been through so much. I think most of us are at our breaking point today. It has been a tough one. It's hard to sit and watch this all, so I can't imagine how he feels. Please please keep praying for us and especially him.

I decided to go home at 5 tonight so I could actually put the boys to bed tonight and get some sleep. Jackie stayed with him. I was feeling pretty good about things when I left. I thought we had finally figured everything out... not so much. He was transferred to a different unit tonight. When he was admitted on Thursday from emerg, the only bed they had left was in the paediatric unit. So he has been in with all the children :) The nurses there were awesome, always on top of his pain meds and willing to help with anything. Because things are becoming more severe they decided to transfer him to the surgery unit, where he was after his surgery, because they deal with adults. Let's just say we had the worst experiences there last time and it doesn't seem to be much better this time around. Anyway's I guess since I have been gone his pain has come back again and got even more worse...(At this point I got a call from Jackie asking me to come back in)

She told me the pain was not getting better and it should have with the NG tube the surgeon came back and ordered more blood work and x-rays again. He said he was thinking surgery was our only option at this point. I got back in just shortly after 11:30pm. I made it there to have a few minutes alone with Layne. He was telling me about the first time he saw me and described exactly what I was wearing. He was a sweetheart. I can't believe he remembered and I can't believe I wore that outfit (green shirt, brown corduroy pants with white nike shoes) But I guess I was the most beautiful girl he had ever met despite the outfit. It was a nice moment to have with him. The surgeon came back said the x-rays were showing a blockage and the fact that it wasn't getting better would indicate he could get a perforated bowel and then we would be in trouble. He said we have the option to wait it out a bit longer (until morning) to see if it would miraculously heal on it's own or he would do it right then. It was a hard decision to make. I really didn't want to have to go through this whole surgery thing again. It's so hard on his poor body. But Jackie took charge and made some suggestions that made sense. He had been in pain for far to long. We couldn't keep going like this. He was relatively comfortable at that point but we knew it would come back and then be putting him at other risks. After Layne, his dad, his mom and I made the decision to go ahead with the surgery, it was the weirdest feeling. Everything was calm. We knew we had made the right choice without a doubt. It was so nice to have that confirmation and right now I believe we all needed that little tender mercy.

They took him back for surgery at 1:30am. The surgery would be a few hours. Jackie had not had anything to eat all day and me being pregnant and always hungry especially if i stay up late went to get a bite to eat. Let's just say Lethbridge is not a good place to find anything open for 24 hours. Even though tim hortons was open they were only serving cold or hot drinks at 2 in the morning. So thankfully McDonalds was open and we got to get something greasy. Yuck! After that we went back to the hospital and waited. The surgeon came out at 4 am. He said he went in there through the old surgery incision. They couldn't do it laproscopically because his belly was so distended. He was able to get a look at everything. There was a kink in the bowel which would cause a partial block and he was able to see a few ulcers and clean up a few small adhesion (scar tissue) but he didn't see anything that would indicate the type of pain he was in. So he said all those things plus the chemo may make for a very bad tummy ache. He was worried Layne might still experience the same pain as before the surgery but it least we were able to make sure everything was okay. He told us it was the right thing to do because we would have been going in for surgery no matter what with his symptoms. We also know there is for sure no cancer back as well, which will give Layne huge piece of mind. At this time we are having no visitors. He is isolation. Because he is chemo we are trying to take every precaution to avoid an infection. That is a major risk of doing surgery on someone going through chemo. So texts and emails would be appreciated. I can read them to Layne.

I was able to get home by 5am after seeing Layne in recovery. The anesthesiologist wasn't going to let us go in and see him for an hour after the surgery but when I saw her go into labour and delivery I walked up to the doors and knocked on them and when the nurse opened the door I made sure she saw my pregnant belly and asked kindly if i could see him before I went home. I needed to get some sleep. They were good and let me come in and also let Jackie come in after. Russ (Layne's dad) stayed with him for the rest of the morning until now. It was hard to see him again and know we have to start all over. I am so sorry he is going through this. I would't wish this on anyone. I wonder what I have to learn from this because Layne sure doesn't need to learn anything. He is the most kind, considerate, generous, compassionate and positive person I have ever met. I have always known he would be okay but I always knew it would be a long difficult road. I just didn't think this difficult. Hopefully things get better now. I just spoke with his dad and he is having the same pains as before and he has an epidural. He is numb from his toes to his armpits. I am about to head in and hope that by the time I get there the pain in under control. I really hope it just clears up on it's own and nothing else crazy happens. Time will tell. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers, we are definitely needing them right now. I am not going to edit this post so sorry if something doesn't make sense or grammar is more bad than normal. 4 hours of sleep can do that. My mom cancelled her shows for the nest few days and drove down here at 3 in the morning. So he has the boys. I am so thankful for my family!

Got the NG tube in

Being transferred to the surgery floor

Visiting with Layne before he goes into surgery

Waiting for the surgery to be done. 

Waiting Game

I ended my last post Friday night. Things didn’t really change much until Saturday afternoon. Then things got bad. Saturday morning Layne was able to talk to the Surgeon on call over the phone. He reassured Layne that the bleeding should stop and it would heal on it’s own. Even if we did the Small bowel walk through that day instead of on Tuesday and we were able to see where the bleeding was coming from, they still wouldn’t do anything because they want it to heal on its own. They don’t want to have to do surgery (and neither do we).  At about 3pm a few hours after talking to the surgeon Layne’s pain changed. It went from being a localized area about the size of a quarter to spreading all the way up into his stomach and across. The pain got so bad he could hardly breath or speak. In between waves of pain all he could do was cry. It was very scary for me. I was here by myself. They were able to give him come Percocet, which after 15 minutes it started to get better. In the mean time I called his mom who left from a wedding and got back over here. He wasn’t able to eat anything since breakfast so he had an empty stomach and it kicked in pretty quick. Because his symptoms changed so quickly, they called the Dr back. We were able to get him a CT scan. The Dr coordinated with the surgeon and the radiologist before he left for the night. They got him down right away to get the CT scan. When he came back he was experiencing the extreme pain again and they gave him another Percocet while we waited to get approval from the Dr on call to get IV pain medication. It least this time I had someone here with me but it’s not easy to watch him go through that.

It took 2 hours to get the results back from the CT scan. And guess what… they came back fine. No nothing! We know the cancer is not back, no appendicitis, no blockage, no nothing. It’s quite frustrating. The surgeon did not come in until this morning. Layne’s mom was here. He said they are going to do a sigmoidoscopy in the morning and leave the small bowel walk through for Tuesday. The sigmoidoscopy will give them a good view of his anastomosis (where his small intestine attaches to his rectum) and make sure the bleed is not coming from there. They do not think that’s the case though and they do not think the small bowel walk through will show anything either. They are still hoping this pain and bleeding will clear up on it’s own and he will be okay. I find it hard to believe as I sit here watching him. His tummy is so distended it looks like he is pregnant. He is in so much pain and now he can’t keep any food down, he throws it up shortly after eating a few bites and he doesn’t have the energy to walk. After trial and error today we know he can go 3 hours and then we have to give him more morphine or else the pain gets out of control. He told me though that he knows that he is not doing well today but he plans on doing better tomorrow. What a positive attitude (well on morphine) J We sure love him. We are praying for a major turn around or for something to be found over the next few days.

Having a good snooze

He likes to sit up sometimes even though it looks extremely uncomfortable

Feeling good for a few minutes, so we thought we would try food again. Threw it up 20 minutes later.

We are postponing our turkey dinner. We were supposed to have it today. Instead, Ciana is bringing the boys in and getting KFC and eating it at the park here in Lethbridge. Both Blake and Ty are sick with colds and Ty has an ear infection so we are planning on wheeling Layne out into the hall where there is a big window to the lobby and letting him watch the boys. I am hoping Layne perks up here in a bit or else that might not even happen either. A big thank you to Auntie Ciana for watching them and having sleepovers these past three days. Couldn’t have got through this with out you. Layne was able to come and see the boys in the lobby. He only lasted a few minutes watching them yell his name and saying they loved him. He got too nauseous and had to go back to his room but he said he loved seeing them and they loved seeing him too. Not being able to see them is one of the hardest things on him right now. He misses them!

Having some fun at the park, enjoying our thanksgiving KFC

The boys waiting in the lobby for their dad to be wheeled to the glass on the 3rd floor.

Come What May And Love It

Warning… this post does talk A LOT about poo! I will try to be as least descriptive as possible!

Well since my last post, only an hour after posting it Layne was back in the hospital. He had been in the hospital but discharged because he was experiencing diarrhea and not feeling right. But the next night he was back in the hospital because he was experiencing severe diarrhea and had no energy (he could not walk). They determined he was dehydrated and started an IV and took tests to make sure the diarrhea was not due to infection. Because it was the weekend it took them until Monday afternoon to get the results back. He was not allowed to take Imodium until we got the results back just in case it was due to infection. He was again discharged after being rehydrated. Sunday I was supposed to come home with the boys but decided it was in Layne’s best interest for us to stay another night, so he could gain back his energy and get all the rest he needed. Blake was very sad we couldn’t come home, because he would miss preschool. He has a count down every day until his next day of preschool. He knew he was supposed to go to school on Monday and was right ticked when he discovered we were staying at my mom and dad’s house an extra night! Haha he is too funny. I hope he always loves school.  Nothing eventful happened on Sunday but Monday morning on my way home from Edmonton I got a call from Jackie that Layne was back in the hospital with a heart rate of 175. He was very dehydrated again. While they were there they got the test results back from Saturday night and he was able to start Imodium because everything came back negative. We had an appointment with the oncologist that Thursday, which they determined the diarrhea was caused strictly from the chemo. I am so grateful we have such good family. I can’t imagine ever going through this with out tons of family. I definitely wouldn’t be as composed if I didn’t. I hope we can always lend a helping hand to those going through things especially if they don’t have family to lean on!

By Friday Layne had gained back his energy and feeling much better again. (Just in time to start his next round of chemo on the following Tuesday) Since meeting with the oncologist they decided to take the precautions that the severe diarrhea would happen again. This week when Layne got his pump off after chemo they took the precautionary measure to hydrate him at that appointment before the diarrhea would start. Because we know that the diarrhea was not caused by infection, as long as Layne doesn’t have a fever he can take Imodium at the first onset of diarrhea. They also made him an appointment to go to the hospital the day following chemo to be hydrated if it starts to become a problem. They left his port “open” after removing the bottle, so that he doesn’t have to be poked over the weekend if he had to be hydrated or blood drawn. It turned out to be a nice blessing.

Both Blake and Ty were able to come for Layne chemo this week. It was so nice to have them there. I did leave to go grocery shopping with them for a bit and get some lunch or else I am sure it would have turned into a gong show.

Layne's mom was able to come with him to get the pump taken off this week.

This round sure made him tired. He had a snooze while they ran IV fluids through him.

Of course nothing can be easy for Layne. An hour after he got home from getting his chemo bottle taken off he had diarrhea but this was a black stool that turned the toilet water bright red. He was bleeding rectally again. Of course we got into panic mode. We called the cancer center, who called us back and told us to go to emergency immediately. When we got there the place was a mad house. Thankfully Layne was borderline fever and very tired and they got him back right away so he could have somewhere to lie down. It did take a while to see the Dr but it least we were comfortable. The Dr had no idea what to do, so he took his blood work and then admitted him so we could see a surgeon in the morning, who would determine how to investigate.

Lots of blood being taken.

For the second round of blood tests that were ordered, they tried taking the blood from his port. It wasn't working at first so he got to dance around like a crazy person and bending over every which way. Thankfully they got it to work, or else that would have been a whole another complication with other test to be done.

They let Layne eat something before midnight but after that he was not allowed to eat anything just incase he had to go in for surgery

Today is now Friday. Jackie, bless her heart, came to the hospital bright and early to make sure she didn’t miss the visit from the Dr. They tend to come first thing in the morning and we often would miss them when layne was last in the hospital. They determined because his stool was black that it most likely was caused by ulcers in his stomach, The dexamethasone that Layne takes while he is on chemo is known to cause stomach ulcers. Right now I am sitting waiting for Layne to get back from his scope (gastroscopy). That will let us know if it was ulcers causing the bleeding.

Layne being wheeled away for the scope

Layne is back from the gastroscopy and unfortunately everything came back clear. No ulcers no bleeding. Dang it! I still haven’t seen the Dr. but the nurse said now they will be looking to do a small bowel follow through. I believe he has to drink something and then they take pictures of it. He has been experiencing abdominal pain in a localized area which was below his stomach. I was really hoping it was just ulcers but now we get to play the waiting game again. Layne is coming around from the general anesthetic. He is really disappointed it wasn’t ulcers. He is petrified his cancer has come back. They keep on reassuring us this should not be the case. It is very rare to spread that quickly.

Having a good nap after his scope

So it’s been a long day but we were finally able to speak to the Dr. He told us the same thing, that the stomach looked completely fine. He said we know it’s not the surgery site (where the small intestine connects to the rectum) because his stool is black (which means its farther up). His stool supposedly would have bright red blood clots if it was his surgery site. He also said that it is very rare to have a bleed from your small intestine. That being said, they are doing the small bowel walk through just to make sure there are no abnormalities. He said they are assuming he did have an ulcer that was bleeding but has healed in the meantime. Not what we want to hear. It would be nice for them to actually find what the problem is and not assume. I guess we will know in a couple of days if the bleeding doesn’t persist and his localized pain subsides. Because it’s a long weekend they can’t get him in to have the small bowel walk through until Tuesday. It’s quite frustrating. It’s hard to wait when you are so worried about something. Layne’s hemoglobin level’s dropped significantly since yesterday, which is something else they are worried about. They were 89 this morning. Some hospitals will do a blood transfusion if your level gets down to 100 but this hospital won’t do one until it gets under 80. His blood work he had done tonight went up to 91. Not a lot but it shows us his body is making red blood cells. He will be tested again in the morning.

So we are not sure how long he will be in the hospital but we are definitely glad he is there and being monitored. Hopefully all it is is ulcers and nothing more serious. They have put him on Pantoloc a drug that helps reduce acid secretions and he will have to stay on that through out his chemotherapy. It looks like they might postpone his next round depending on what happens over the next few days.

Able to eat again after seeing the Dr tonight.

He is in isolation while in the hospital so he doesn't catch anything. We get to gown up every time we go into the room.

I feel like this is kind of a negative post but we are going through some pretty darn negative things in our life right now. We wonder when it will end and if there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully I know there is. I have felt it. I know we will get through this and be better people because of it. I have a talk from one of the general authorities of our church that I read often, especially when I am going through something difficult. I will share with you some of my favourite lines from the talk. Here is the link to the full article.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng

I recommend everyone read it. Everyone goes through difficult times in their lives and it has really helped me keep perspective and be positive about things. The talk is called “Come What May and Love It”, by Joseph B Wirthlin. He says…

“Every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.”

“Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.”

“Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it.”